


Bye bye teddy bear

by Little stories and love (Kapoen)



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Age Play Little Jaskier | Dandelion, Bed-Wetting, Caregiver Eskel, Diapers, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, bottles, eskel and Geralt are married, jaskier isn’t in a relationship with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapoen/pseuds/Little%20stories%20and%20love
Summary: Jaskier’s father saved Eskel his life. So when he asked Geralt and Eskel both caregivers to take his son in for a few months they agreed.Jaskier was the only little in his village and was bullied for that. His father thinks he can get rid of his little side. A good job in the city would help with that.Jaskier tries so hard to be anything but little. Will that work out? Or will Geralt and Eskel find out his secret?
Relationships: Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 228





	1. Teddies and blankets

**Author's Note:**

> This story had non-sexual age play in it.  
> The writer her first language isn’t English. But she did her best. I hope you enjoy this story 💕😊

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier moves in with Eskel and Geralt.

**Chapter 1 Teddies and blankets**

Geralt looked at the young man standing in his spare bedroom. Why wasn’t Eskel here? It was his idea and his favor. Eskel almost died a few years ago when he got lost in the mountains, a man called Julian saved him. Eskel was so grateful that he kept in touch with the man. They send emails and called each other every few weeks. 

Julian’s son was going to work in the city where Geralt and Eskel lived so Julian had asked them to take him in for a few months so Julian junior or Jaskier as he preferred to be called could find his feet. Geralt and Eskel could show him around and help him find a good apartment and neighborhood to live in. 

Eskel immediately agreed and Geralt had sighed and kissed his husband. Whatever he thought. It couldn’t be that difficult right? Jaskier was independent so he wouldn’t bother them too much.

But now he regretted their decision. Jaskier looked quite young and a bit lost in his room. He didn’t look independent at all. Jaskier put his bag down and looked expectantly at Geralt. “Do you have house rules'?” he asked while looking at Geralt.

Geralt looked away. House rules? He and Eskel hadn’t talked about that. Jaskier was an adult. They didn’t need to give him rules right? He could behave and clean up after himself. They didn’t need to give him rules for that right. “No, not for now. If we have a problem with something we will tell you” he said. “Anything we should know about you? allergies? medical conditions? or anything else?” he checked to be sure. Jaskier slowly shook his head. 

“No, how much was the rent again?” Geralt looked surprised at him; they went over this before. Maybe Jaskier didn’t have a good memory. “A third, you pay a third of the rent 600 dollars. And 250 for water, food, home insurance, light taxes and things like that”. Jaskier nodded. Geralt saw that Jaskier looked worried. Were they asking too much? They didn’t need his money, they were rich enough. But Julian said they should ask a fair amount because Jaskier needed to grow up. He needed to learn that life cost money. Geralt agreed that that was an important life lesson so they asked a fair amount of rent. Suddenly he realized something.

“You don’t have a second gender do you?” Eskel and Julian hadn’t said anything about this but it couldn’t hurt to check. Jaskier flushed. 

“No I’m a natural. You?” Geralt nodded relieved. He didn’t want anyone needing him. A natural or caregiver was good, as long he wasn’t a little. He didn’t want to worry about a little in his house. It would make everything more complicated. Even though Eskel and he were both caregivers they decided that they wanted to keep their independence, but if there would ever be a little in need of their care they wouldn’t turn him or her away. 

“Eskel and I are caregivers but we don’t do anything with it”. He explained, he guessed Jaskier deserved to know that. “We don’t want a little or something,” he added so Jaskier wouldn’t be afraid that they would turn his room in a nursery soon and kick him out. 

“Okay great, Uhm. I like to rest now” Jaskier said, looking very uncomfortable. Geralt raised his eyebrows. It was only seven in the evening. But maybe Jaskier hadn’t slept well in the plane. Traveling could be exhausting. He should leave them man alone. 

“I will leave you alone then” he said and left the room. Jaskier gave him a weak smile when he closed the door and Geralt tried to return it. 

~

Jaskier watched Geralt leave. Did Geralt know he lied? He was a little but no one could know that. He moved away from the village where he grew up because he was bullied so much with it. He was the only little in the village. That wasn’t strange with only ten percent of the people having a little side as a second gender. Most were caregivers around fifteen percent of the people or naturals seventy five percent. Jaskier hated the fact that he was a little. He would rather be a caregiver or natural. 

In the village it was a sign of weakness. His dad was convinced that Jaskier could get rid of his little side if he started to live as a real man. With a real job and a real house, So Jaskier moved away and was only welcome to come back when he lost his little side. Well he could do that. He would make his father proud!

His dad probably hadn’t known Eskel and Geralt were caregivers or he would never let him live with them. His father hated caregivers as much as littles. He knew his father told Eskel and Geralt, Jaskier had a job in the city. He didn't, well he technically did. He told his dad he had found a job at a radio station but he would be a street musician. He rented a spot in the city for 500 dollars a month. He could play guitar music and sing from seven in the morning to seven in the evening. He hoped he would earn enough to pay the rent for his spot and to pay Geralt and Eskel their rent. It wasn’t much, but it was the first step in his music career. 

He undressed, took his bear out of his bag and got under the blankets. He looked at his bear. Littles had teddy bears, not strong young men like him. He almost cried when he threw the bear under his bed, he was a natural now. He should act like it! 

“Bye, bye teddy bear” he whispered sadly. He already missed his bear, he never slept without it before. Well there was a first time for everything right?

~

Eskel walked in the kitchen and yawned. He had a long day at work. Geralt was just making coffee. He could really use that and Geralt knew that. “Wasn’t Jaskier supposed to move in today?” He asked, looking around for him. He expected the boy in their living room watching tv with Geralt or something. 

“He did but he was tired and wanted to rest” Geralt explained handing him coffee. Eskel nodded sitting down on the couch. He didn’t mind spending the evening with his husband alone. It was just that he really liked to meet Jaskier, he hadn’t seen him in years. But he guessed there would be enough time for them to become friends, 

“How was he?” He asked while Geralt turned the tv on. 

“A normal young man. A natural by the way. He didn’t tell me much, he only asked after the rent again. Maybe he has memory problems or something” Geralt said. Eskel was surprised to hear that. They talked about the rent so many times. Wel,he and Julian did, but Julian probably discussed it with Jaskier too. The Jaskier he remembered had a very good memory and knew more songs than Eskel did. 

“Was the rent too high? We could lower it. Julian said he had a well paid job, but maybe the standards for that are different were he lives” Eskel asked. The little village where Jaskier grew up was so different from their city. Everything was cheap there. Eskel didn’t think the salaries could be high there. Geralt found the sports channel. There was a boxing competition going on. 

“Let's see what happens after the first month. If he can’t afford the rent we will find a solution. Did you save any lives today?” Geralt changed the subject. Eskel shook his head and sighed angry. He didn’t want to think about his work right now.

“No, we had some kind of training about working smarter, not harder. Like I have so much choice when someone is bleeding out in my ER” he shook his head. Eskel liked his job but he didn’t like all the extras things the hospital made him do. “I’m thinking about going back to three shifts a week instead of five. I would like some more time for other things” he told Geralt while squeezing his hand, Geralt squeezed it back. 

“I totally support that. You work way too hard. It was the best decision I ever made to take lesser cases” Geralt told his husband. Eskel put his head on Geralt's shoulder. 

“Well that gave Ciri and Dara a chance to take over your company as well. I’m proud of them. Our niece is a private detective now. Maybe we could both work Monday till Wednesday and have a four day long weekend together” he suggested. He loved that idea. Spending more time together, going on trips and vacations. 

“I would like that,” Geralt said, 

“Do you think Jaskier will come out tonight or sleep till the morning?” Eskel asked as he was tired and wanted to sleep himself. But if Jaskier would come out of his room to say hello, he didn’t want to be in bed already. 

“He has been asleep since seven. He didn’t eat or visit the bathroom. I think he is exhausted from the plane or something” Geralt said, Eskel went to sit up a bit. That was a long time. More than just a nap. 

“Should I check on him?” He asked Geralt a bit worried.

Geralt pushed him down again. “He is asleep. He is not a child, little or your patient where you need to take care of so let him sleep. Even if he isn’t okay he can come to us”. 

Eskel nodded. “I guess you're right”. He should try to relax. Jaskier was an adult. Eskel didn’t need to babysit him.

~ 

Jaskier couldn’t sleep. He missed his bear and he was cold. He left his pajamas at home because they were too childish. His boxers and the blanket didn’t protect him enough. He wished he had his soft fleece blanket here with the little airplanes on it. He wiped the tears out of his eyes. Why was he crying? He shouldn’t. He needed to approach this problem as a natural. Maybe he could ask for an extra blanket? Geralt and Eskel wouldn’t mind that right? He slowly climbed out of his bed and walked out of his bedroom. 

He walked to the living room. Eskel and Geralt were sitting on the couch. Eskel was almost laying in Geralt's lap and they were watching some kind of boxing game. Could he disturb them? He didn’t know if they would be mad. What if he wasn’t allowed out of his room after eight or nine? Geralt didn’t tell him that rule or any rules all but he could better leave them just to be sure. Just when he turned around he heard them move.

“Jaskier?” Geralt said, a bit surprised. Jaskier turned around again and was suddenly aware that he was just standing in his boxers. Eskel sat up and turned around as well. 

“Hey are you okay?” Eskel asked, worried. Jaskier suddenly felt ridiculous. He should have stayed in his room. 

“Yeah, I just. Uhm I was cold. I couldn’t sleep because of that. Can I have an extra blanket?” he looked at the floor, he felt so stupid! He heard them move. He peeked up and saw that Eskel stood up and walked over to him with concern in his eyes. 

“Of course, didn’t you sleep at all since seven?” Eskel asked him while he looked at the clock. It was a little past twelve now. Jaskier just nodded, he was an idiot. Why didn’t he stay in his room or bring normal pajamas. He probably should have lied and told them that he did sleep. 

“You should have come sooner. You can always come to us when you need something or when there is something wrong” Eskel told him and moved closer to him. He put his hand on his cheek. Jaskier wanted to lean in the touch but could resist. Why was Eskel even touching him?


	2. Guitars and sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel and Geralt help Jaskier how is cold and hungry,

**Chapter 2 Guitars & sheets**

“You do feel very cold. Don’t you have something warmer to sleep in?” Eskel asked, pulling his hand away. looking down at Jaskier’s boxers. Jaskier shook his head, he missed Eskel’s warm hand on his cheek already.

“Do you want to borrow something from us?” Eskel offered. Jaskier bite his lip. He wanted to, but would that be okay? Would strong men borrow clothes? Before he finished that thought he decided that he really wanted to be warm. 

“Please,” he said quietly. Eskel smiled at him, nodded and left the room. Jaskier was standing there awkwardly with Geralt, who was looking at him as well.

“You hungry?” Geralt asked then. Jaskier looked at his stomach. Was he hungry? When did he last eat? In the plane he got those cookies and apple juice. He didn’t like those very much. They tasted weird. Asking for food couldn't be wrong, right?

“I could eat,” he said. Geralt nodded and stood up and walked to the kitchen. 

“Do you have socks, Jaskier?” Eskel yelled from somewhere in the apartment. 

“No,” he yelled back looking at his bare feet. He only took clothes that had nothing to do with being little. His socks had pictures of animals and candy on them that wasn’t something for a natural to wear.

“What do you like to eat?” Geralt asked, opening the fridge. Jaskier didn’t know. Didn’t they have any leftovers or something?

“Whatever is easy for you to make” he said, he already felt like a bother. 

“Soup? Tomato Soup?” Geralt asked him. Jaskier quickly nodded. He would have agreed to anything. But he really liked tomato soup. 

Eskel appeared back in the room and gave him dark blue sweatpants and a shirt. There also were thick blue socks. Jaskier took the clothes and dressed. They were too big for him but it was warm. They smelled nice as well. 

“Better?” Eskel asked and he squeezed Jaskier’s shoulder. Jaskier nodded. “Good I put an extra blanket on your bed. Your teddy rolled under your bed so I picked it up”. Jaskier looked at the floor embarrassed. Why did he have to find it? He should never have taken teddy with him. But he couldn’t leave him at home. 

“I don’t sleep with the teddy” he said, he didn’t want to see Eskel's face. They probably thought it was childish. 

“Well, we couldn’t leave it on the floor anyway. If you don’t want it in your bed then you can put it on your nightstand or something” Eskel told him, like it was normal.

“Sit down, the soup is almost warm. Do you want something to drink as well?” Geralt asked, putting a plate on the table and he was pointing to a chair. Jaskier sat down on the chair Geralt pointed to.

“Yes please” Geralt filled a big glass with water. “You need to hydrate after a plane flight”. Jaskier took the glass and almost drowned it in one time. He was more thirsty than he thought. Geralt immediately refilled it for him. He also put the soup in front of him. If he was so thirsty he must be hungry too. He immediately picked up his spoon and filled it with the soup. It smelled good, fresh. It would probably taste like that too. 

“No!” Geralt yelled but it was too late Jaskier dropped his spoon and his mouth hurt! He cried out in pain. The soup was still boiling. His glass of water was pushed against his lips. 

“Drink” Geralt said, pushing the glass hard against his lips forcing him to open his mouth. Jaskier tried to drink, the water was getting in his mouth but also on his sweatshirt and even falling on his pants. When the glass was empty Geralt took it away. 

“I’m a doctor, let's take a look” Eskel turned his face to him. Jaskier felt so embarrassed. Why was he so stupid to eat the soup immediately? What would they think of him now?

“Can you open your mouth”. Jaskier opened his mouth a bit. Eskel squeezed his cheeks to open it further. Now Jaskier really felt like a kid, someting he tried so hard to avoid. 

“Uhm, not too bad. You will get some bladders but nothing permanent. I will put some salve on your bottom lip”. Eskel let go of him and left the room. Jaskier didn’t dare to look at Geralt. 

“You okay?” Geralt asked kindly. Jaskier just nodded. He was still a bit in shock. 

“You wet my shirt,” he said looking down at it. Why did he say that? Like that was important right now. Or Geralt’s fault. Geralt only tried to help him. 

“It isn’t too bad. Eskel bring Jaskier a new shirt please” Geralt yelled to his husband. 

“You don’t have to,” Jaskier said. It would dry soon enough. 

“It’s no bother,” Eskel said walking in. He put a clean blue shirt on the table and opened a bottle. He put the salve on his fingers and put it on Jaskier's lip and chin. “There you go,” he said with a smile. He hadn’t even offered Jaskier to do it himself. So he must think Jaskier was really incapable of doing anything right. 

“I’m going back to bed. I’m not hungry anymore Geralt. I’m sorry” he whispered. He wanted to get away from those extremely nice caregivers. Geralt just smiled at him. 

“That’s fine,” Eskel told him, handing him the dry shirt. Jaskier took the new shirt and left the room. On his bed was a tick woolen blanket and his teddy was waiting for him on the pillow, Eskel must have put it there. He needed to do better to act like a natural. 

Geralt threw the soup away and turned to Eskel. “That went well,” he joked. Eskel sighed heavily and nodded. Jaskier was so different from what he expected him to be. He wasn’t ready to be on his own. He acted like he was a little. 

“It is that he said that he was a natural or you would have guessed that he would be a little,” Eskel said. Geralt looked up at him and saw that his husband was thinking about his statement.

“He said he was a natural, why would he lie? I agree he acts a little childish but he was probably tired” Geralt said. Well Geralt was probably right not everyone who needed help was a little and Jaskier had been exhausted. Eskel sighed heavily again. “I guess you're right. I will call Julian tomorrow to ask if this is normal behavior for Jaskier”. Something inside him told him to check, just to be sure. 

Geralt pulled Eskel close. “Why would he lie?” Eskel knew Geralt found that he worried too much. Eskel didn’t like it if people were in pain or needed help. He liked to make sure people were healthy and happy. That’s why he was a doctor. 

Eskel kissed him back. “I don’t know. You right it’s a stupid thought”. Geralt was right, he shouldn’t worry so much. He could just keep an eye on Jaskier and that should be enough. 

“Hmmm, not stupid. Just check if it makes you feel better,” Geralt decided. Eskel hugged him tightly. Well It couldn’t hurt to check right? He wanted to call Julian anyway. 

**~**

It was six in the morning when Jaskier’s alarm went. He was still tired. Exhausted even. It took him hours before he fell asleep. He felt so stupid and kept going over the situation with the soup again. What should he have done differently? When did he act childish? He needed to do better! 

He sat up in his bed and his pants felt wierd. Well Eskel’s pants. He looked at his lap. Shit! He wet himself. Not today! Not today! What should he do? He was panicking. He borrowed those pants and no, the sheets were wet too. This was bad. Very bad The washing machine was the only option. He could wash everything now and take it out when he came back from work. No one would ever know what happened. 

He quickly stripped his bed and took his pants off. He put his jeans on and opened the door a bit. Luckily Geralt and Eskel their door was still closed. Hopefully they were still asleep. It would be fine Jaskier told himself. He was handling this right. 

He almost ran to the laundry room and put everything in the machine and turned it on. He hoped he chose the right program. He moved quickly to the bathroom to clean himself up before he finished dressing. Then he picked up his guitar and left the house. He didn’t have time for breakfast. He would make sure to eat lunch. 

It was still dark outside but Jaskier needed to be on time on his spot. It was his first day. It was just a ten minute walk from the apartment. He put his guitar case down and waited until his watch told him it was seven o clock, he started playing. Hopefully people would enjoy his music. 

~ 

“Eskel why is the washing machine on?” Geralt asked sitting up in his bed. It was still early and the machine was making a lot of noise. Eskel opened his eyes and sat up as well. He looked confused as well. 

“What? It’s seven? Is it broke? I didn’t turn it on” Eskel moved out of the bed and walked to the laundry room. He kneeled in front of the machine and stopped it. Then he opened it. He sighed angrily.

“Geralt! Why did you put your blue sweater in the washing machine with the white sheets? There are also blue now” he yelled frustrated. His husband should have known better. Eskel explained to him many times not to wash colors at the same time as white laundry. Geralt walked in the room.

“I didn’t. Those pants you borrowed to Jaskier, remember? Eskel looked in the machine and Geralt was right, those were the sweatpants he borrowed Jaskier and those sheets were from Jaskier’s bed as well. Why was he washing them so early? 

He nodded and looked at Geralt. “I’m sorry. You're right” he apologized to his husband and then he stood up and walked out of the room. He knocked on Jaskier’s door. He waited for a response. He didn’t get one. Maybe he was still asleep. He couldn’t be right, since his sheets were in the washing machine. 

He opened the door a little. “Jaskier?” He asked softly and then opened the door fully. The room was empty. The bed was stripped and the teddy bear was laying on the ground again. Eskel picked it up, sighing. Poor bear. The teddy bear was wet? Why was it wet? Had Jaskier been crying? He brought it to his nose. “Pee” he said, a little surprised. 

“I guess we know now why Jaskier made our sheets blue. Where is he?” Geralt asked while moving to look in the other rooms trying to find their new roommate. Eskel stared at the bear in his hand. Jaskier had wet the bed and tried to clean everything. Poor boy, he could have asked them for help. 

“Didn’t he work at the radio station or something? Maybe he had to work early”. Eskel said, still holding the bear. “I guess I need to wash this little one too. Those sheets we can throw away. Can you order new ones?” He asked his husband. Jaskier needed sheets tonight and there was no way he was putting those light blue ones back on his bed. 

“Sure, do we have enough extra sheets for tonight?” Geralt asked and Eskel nodded. They always had some extra sheets because accidents could happen to everyone. 

“You should look in the closet in the laundry room. There should be an extra set. I’m going to shower. I want to call Julian before leaving for work” Eskel said. He really wanted to talk to Julian now. Something was wrong about this situation and he hoped Julian could tell him what. He walked to the laundry room and took the sheets out of the machine and put the teddy bear in. He turned the machine on before going to the shower. 


	3. Sleep and phones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel and Geralt talk to Jaskier’s father.

**Chapter 3 Sleep and phones**

Geralt was shaving while Eskel was in the shower. “Did you ever hear that they classificated someone as a natural, but he actually was a little. That they made a mistake?” Geralt asked while Eskel undressed and turned the shower on. 

Eskel thought about the question. He never heard or read about that, could Jaskier be little? Could he be classificated wrongly? “Uhm never, beeing little isn’t a small thing to miss for people who make the classifications. Sometimes it isn’t easy to see what someone is. Because of special needs or because somebody develops through trauma or illness later but that can’t be the case with Jaskier” he said stepping under the warm water. He loved to shower. Even though Jaskier was a bit odd he didn’t think he had a trauma or something. 

“He did forget how much the rent was. Maybe he does has special needs” Geralt commented. Eskel smiled, his husband very didn’t understand that not everybody got a good memory like he did. 

“Not being the brightest kid in the room isn’t enough to be a special needs kid. We are talking about children who spend half their life in hospitals or clinics. And Geralt everyone forgets stuff sometimes let’s not make a big deal out of it” he started to wash his hair. He himself forgot where he left his keys almost every week. And Geralt well it was better not to remind him about the incident with Ciri her soccer game. 

“How good do you know Julian, Jaskiek’s dad?” Geralt asked while doing his hair in front of the mirror. He brushed his long white hair carefully. 

“We are good friends. I stayed with him for two weeks after the snowstorm in the mountains, but you know that. He was very nice. Jaskier was ten or nine, I think back then. Julian was a great dad for him. There wasn’t anything odd or wrong with what I saw. We kept in touch as you know. We email every month. Call sometimes. Everything he writes about Jaskier was positive. He is so proud of him. He described him as an independent, strong young man with big plans for the future. He never said anything about being little, bed wetting or childish behavior” Eskel said. He had to admit it was a bit odd that Julian never mentioned that. Maybe it was something new. 

“No father would send their little off to strangers without instructing them first” Geralt decided. Eskel agreed with that. It would be so wrong. No little deserved that. 

“Of course, especially not Jaskier, Julian wouldn't do that” Eskel agreed. Julian was a great dad, he wouldn’t mind if Jaskier was a little or not. If he was he would take care of him and protect him. 

~

After they ate breakfast Eskel picked up the phone and called Julian. He put the phone on speakers so Geralt could listen to the conversation as well. 

“Ah Eskel, did Jaskier get in trouble already?” Julian laughed loudly. Eskel smiled by hearing his friend his voice. Julian had such a warm laugh. 

“Not at all, he is very polite and no bother at all” Eskel told him. It was true Jaskier had been nothing but polite and tried to clean up after himself even when he accidentally wet their sheets and tried to wash them himself. It didn’t work out that well, but he tried. 

“Great, just as I thought. He is very independent” Julian said proudly. Geralt raises eyebrows to Eskel when he hears the word independent. Eskel decided to ignore that even if he did agree with Geralt. Jaskier didn’t act independent at all. 

“I just wanted to know if there was something we should know about him,” Eskel asked carefully. There was silence on the other side of the line. He hoped he hadn’t offended his friend. 

“What do you mean?” Julian asked, he sounded a little confused. So he probably hadn’t expected Jaskier his current behavior. 

“Well to be honest, we thought he showed some typical little behavior. Jaskier said he was a natural so we wanted to check” Eskel explained. He hoped he chose the right words for this. He didn’t want to make it sound like they didn’t believe Jaskier or calling him a liar.

“Well. He is a natural. He never had little behavior before. What behavior did you see?” Julian questioned him. Eskel gave Geralt a short look and Geralt nodded at him. Telling him it was okay to tell Julian everything. 

“He acts a bit little, childish, he has a teddy bear, wets the bed” Eskel told his old friend.

“Oh that teddy bear was a gift from a young neighbor kid when he left. Was he tired? He wet the bed once or twice when he was exhausted. Other than that never. Childish behavior I also don’t recognize. Maybe he's sick? Can you check that Eskel, you're a doctor, right? It doesn’t sound like him. Maybe he is a bit scared of you. You are big guys.You weren’t too tough on him right?” Julian questioned them. Eskel shook his head but Julian couldn’t see that. 

“No of course not. We try to help him. He is a nice kid. I will keep an eye on him. He was indeed exhausted. That probably is it” Eskel agreed but he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t feel like he could tell Julian that now. 

“Well if It doesn't get better or get worse you can call me” Julian told him.

“I will Julian, thank you,” Eskel said. He hung up. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the conversation. 

“Strange. Do you think he has homesickness or is scared of us” Eskel asked Geralt. 

“I’m not sure. I’m relieved he isn’t a little. Let’s give it some time” Geralt said. They both weren’t really convinced.

~

It was seven in the evening and Jaskier was tired! He spent the whole day playing and singing for 60 dollars. He was happy. If he got this every day he would earn enough to pay all his bills. He loved making music. People stopped to listen to him and a few children even danced on his songs. It was a long day, but he would get used to those. He had to. He opened his phone and saw that his father had texted him. Would he be proud? 

_ You stupid boy, they called me to asked me about your, if your were a little. Men up and act normal. They are close to kicking you out. I convinced them you're a natural but the rest is up to you. This is your only chance. Don’t be a failure. Make me proud. Dad _

He swallowed and read the angry text message from his father again, dad wasn’t proud. He was very disappointed. 

He needed to try harder, make dad proud he thought while he walked home. There was a tear on his cheek that he hashly wiped away. He had to do better. No more drinking in the evening, so he wouldn’t wet the bed and he needed to try and avoid Geralt and Eskel, so he couldn’t annoy them. Well tonight that wouldn’t be a problem he was tired and only wanted to sleep. He would put the sheets on his bed and go to sleep immediately. He hadn’t slept much last night so he would probably fall asleep as soon as he hit his pillow. 

He opened the door of the apartment and hurried to his room to put his guitar away. He froze. His bed had clean and fresh sheets and his teddy was sitting on his pillow again. He closed the door and put his guitar down. He wanted to scream. How did they find out! Of course they complained about him to his father after finding out he wets the bed. 

There was a knock on his door. He didn’t want to see anybody but he could hardly refuse right? It was their home. 

“Yes,” he said weakly, still staring at his teddy bear. The door opened and Eskel came in with a kind smile on his face.

“How was work? You left so early?” Eskel asked sitting down on the chair in his room. He was still smiling at Jaskier and looked expectantly at him. He was going to yell at him soon, just like his father would do. He knew Eskel was probably angry with him. 

“Yeah I work from seven to seven so I leave early” he explained, a bit uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to expect from this conversation. 

“That’s a long shift, how many days do you work?” Eskel asked, he looked really interested. Jaskier looked away. He couldn’t lie because they would find out anyway. Hopefully they would find it really manly that he worked so hard. 

“Monday till Saturday and on Sunday from twelve until five” he said. He looked at Eskel for his reaction. Real men work hard right? He should show them he wasn’t a little that needed naps and rest. 

“Those are long days. I’m not sure I could handle that” Eskel told him. Jaskier looked at him, Eskel looked so strong. Why wouldn’t he be able to work so long? Was he joking? Making fun of Jaskier?

“It’s not a big deal. I have lots of energy. I don’t need rest” he told Eskel and Eskel smiled and nodded.

“I’m glad to hear that. Next time you wet the bed could you ask us for help with cleaning it up. You made our sheets blue this morning. We don’t mind and we brought you new ones but we can’t do that every day” he told Jaskier then he pointed to his teddy bear. “I washed your teddy as well you got pee on him”. Jaskier froze. He ruined their sheets! They washed his teddy. Shit of course they had complained to his dad. He ruined their stuff!

“I’m so sorry” he whispered as he wanted to cry. Eskel suddenly moved to sit next to him. What did he want?

“No problem at all. I’m a bit worried, I called your dad because I thought maybe you were a little. But he convinced me that you weren’t. He told me you only have accidents if you are extremely tired or sick” Eskel said and waited for his response. Jaskier was glad his dad lied for him. What would he do without him. He should play alone. Act sick or exhausted. Well he really was exhausted. 

Jaskier tried to stop himself from leaning against Eskel but he couldn’t, why couldn’t he? “I’m sick” he lied, why did he choose to be sick and not exhausted? He wasn’t really thinking, he was so tired. It probably was the best way out, that way they wouldn’t think he was a little anymore. 

“Okay, do you want to tell me what’s wrong? I’m a doctor.” Eskel asked, putting an arm around him pulling him closer. Jaskier tried to think fast but he was getting close to his little headspace. That couldn't happen right now! Stop! Don’t drop, he told himself. But Eskel felt so safe and he was so warm. 

“Uhm, tummy hurt” he whispered while he hid his head in Eskel's neck. He couldn’t stop himself. Wait tummy? Why didn’t he say stomach or something else. 

“Ah, can you tell me something more about that?” Eskel put his hand on his tummy now. His hand was big and warm.

“It hurt,” he just said. Eskel nodded against in his head.

“Can you go to the bathroom or does that hurt?” Eskel asked him kindly. 

“I haven't gone to the bathroom since the plane,” he said honestly, immediately realizing his mistake. He hadn’t eaten or drank much only the water Geralt forced in him yesterday. He didn’t take lunch or anything at work today, he forgot. He probably should start doing that. Stupid! Now he looked like a little that couldn’t take care of himself. 

“That’s a long time. May I examine your tummy” Eskel asked. Jaskier nodded. Eskel made him lay down slowly, always keeping a hand on his arm or back. Then he lifted his shirt and pushed around on his tummy. It felt nice, the warm hands on his skin. 

“Your poop feels hard, probably because you are a little dehydrated. Why don’t we go to the kitchen to eat and I can give you a glass of water with some power to help you poop” Eskel said. Jaskier didn’t really listen, the hands on his belly had pushed him closer to his little headspace. He was dropping fast, he didn’t even try to stop it anymore. Take care of me, Eskel he thought. 


	4. Bottles and diapers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eskel and Geralt are very worried about Jaskier.

**Chapter 4 Bottles and diapers**

“Geralt!” Eskel yelled. When he saw that Jaskier was unconscious. Eskel was softly hitting his cheek a little. What was wrong with him. People didn’t pass out from constipation.

“Are you with me?” He asked when Jaskier opened his eyes a little. Geralt came into the room. Immediately kneeling next to them. 

“What’s wrong?” Geralt asked while looking at them with concern. 

“I thought he was passing out. He didn’t react when I was talking and kept staring at the wall” Eskel explained, keeping eye contact with Jaskier. “He is dehydrated and is constipated because of that. But I think there is more going on” Eskel said, moving Jaskier a little so he was sitting more upright. 

Geralt looked at the two men. “What do you want me to do?” He asked ready to help. 

“In my bag is a baby bottle, fill that with warm water. Bring it to me with my bag” Eskel said moving Jaskier in his lap. He patted Jaskier's hair. Hopefully it would calm him a little bit. 

“What? But he wasn’t a little?” Geralt said, confused. Probably not understanding why Eskel asked for a baby bottle. 

“Right now I don’t care if he is little or not. Just do it”. Geralt moved immediately, he knew Eskel ment it. Eskel slowly patted Jaskier's hair again. “It’s okay. It will be fine,” he told him. Everything in him wanted to take care of Jaskier. 

Geralt came back with the bottle and Eskel his bag. Eskel took out some power, put it in the bottle and shook it. After that he put the nipple on. He moved Jaskier so he was sitting upright and his head was laying on his shoulder. When he thought Jaskier was comfortable he pushed the nipple of the bottle in Jaskier's mouth. “Drink” he told Jaskier. 

Jaskier immediately started drinking. “So he is a little?,” Geralt asked, a little confused. Eskel understood that because he was a bit confused himself. 

“No, you heard his dad, he isn’t. He is probably too exhausted or sick. People don’t just turn into little’s. You can’t change your second gender. If he never was a little he isn’t one now” Eskel said. He wasn’t really sure himself anymore, but he knew sickness could play with someone's mind. He guessed Jaskier just felt so bad that he needed help. 

The both watched until Jaskier emptied his bottle. Eskel gave Geralt the empty bottle and started to undress Jaskier. Jaskier let it happen, he just sat on Eskel's lap. 

“What are you doing?” Geralt asked, confused again. Eskel looked at him and smiled.

“Putting him in a diaper and pajamas. He needs sleep. And probably will wet the bed again’ Geralt looked unsure. Eskel was a bit unsure himself. Were they doing this right? He followed his instincts. He hoped he wouldn’t accidentally hurt Jaskier or cross a line. 

“Don’t you think he would object to that?” Geralt asked slowly. Eskel as a doctor was used to undressing people and nakedness but Geralt wasn’t. Eskel looked at Jaskier. He was completely out of it. 

“At the moment I don’t think so,” Eskel said. Jaskier was putting his fingers in his mouth and was staring at the wall. 

Geralt watched while Eskel stripped Jaskier naked and then gave him a diaper out of Eskel’s bag. Eskel quickly and efficiently put it on Jaskier and asked Geralt for his help to put Jaskier in his pajamas. Well it was Geralt’s pajamas since Jaskier didn’t own any. The pajama was way too big. They put Jaskier under the blanket. Eskel tucked his teddy bear in his arms and turned the light off, he left the door open. 

~

Jaskier woke up and he felt warm and comfortable. He slowly opened his eyes. His thumb was in his mouth and teddy was tucked against his body. He loved teddy. He didn’t remember much from last night. Had he been drinking? 

Oh right, Eskel did something? Eskel looked at his tummy or... stomach. Stomach! he thought. He had acted little again! When he sat up to look at the clock he felt something between his legs. A diaper? He left those at home right? 

Suddenly he remembered the bottle. Oh no! They bottle fed him and even diapered him. This was so bad! It was terrible even! They must know he was a little now. His dad would be so disappointed!

Eskel and Geralt would kick him out, dad said it himself. He could hardly blame them. He forced them to diaper him. He would probably kick himself out as well. He was useless! This had been his last chance. It was bad! he jump out of his bed. What could he do? He should apologize and convince them he isn’t a little. Yeah he should do that. He almost ran to the living room where Geralt and Eskel were watching tv. 

“I’m sorry. Oh, I don’t know what happened, I'm not a little” he yelled, almost crying, they were both looking at him. They looked a bit shocked. 

“We know, you are just sick. Dehydration can play with your mind. Don’t worry.” Eskel said calmly and he smiled at Jaskier. “Come sit down with us. We saved some spaghetti for you”. Jaskier slowly moved to sit down on the couch. Yes, dehydration could do this. He needed to play that one out. He could do that. He had too. 

“I will make sure that I drink more. It were busy days, with the plane, moving and my new job. It won’t happen again” he said and he hoped they would believe him. Geralt gave him a plate with spaghetti.

“Well if it does happen again ask for help. We don’t mind” Geralt told him. Jaskier nodded and started to eat the spaghetti. It tasted so nice. It was better than the spaghetti his father made. Geralt or Eskel was a great cook!

“I can bring you to work tomorrow. I have an early shift,” Eskel offered. Jaskier looked at him. That was a nice offer but not necessary. He could handle those things himself. And besides Eskel didn’t need to know he didn’t work at the radio station. 

“It's just a ten minute walk,” he said, taking a big bite of his spaghetti. He really loved the sauce that was on the spaghetti. 

“Ten minute walk? The radio station is on the other side of town, right?” Geralt said, confused looking at Eskel. Jaskier stopped crewing. Shit, why didn’t he think of that? What should he say now? Maybe he should be honest. It was difficult to lie so many times. He couldn’t remember all this lies anymore.

“Uhm, I am not working at that radio station. I do make sure people get their daily music. I’m a street musician. I rent a spot in town. I play for the people who walk by”. He explained. He hoped they weren’t mad. Would they call his father to tell him?

“Okay, does your father know that?” Eskel asked slowly, he didn’t sound angry. Jaskier put his plate on the table because he suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore.

“I told him that I got a job at the radio. He doesn’t understand why somebody would want to be a street musician or work with music at all” he said slowly. He really hoped they wouldn’t call his dad again. That would be bad. Dad would be so disappointed!

“Why wouldn’t he understand?” Geralt asked kindly. “There is nothing wrong with it”. 

“Because he wants me to have a big and successful career. Some job where I can earn a lot of money,” he explained to them. Every dad wanted that for their kids right? It wasn’t strange his dad wanted that for him as well. 

“It’s your life Jaskier. Your dad only wants you to be happy. You should talk to him about this. I’m sure he understands” Eskel said. “He will probably support you”. Jaskier sighed. He tried talking to his dad, he tried to so many times. It didn’t work. But they couldn’t know that.

“You right. He is always so supportive. I didn’t want to disappoint him I guess” he said, it felt wrong and right at the same time to defend his father like this. Eskel probably really believed his father would support him. If he only knew the truth. 

“Well at least I understand now why you were so stressed the last two days. It’s a big secret to carry around. You should tell him soon. You will feel better. And it probably stops him from worrying too. He didn’t understand what was wrong with you when we called him this morning” Eskel explained. His father worried? Yeah he was probably worried if Jaskier didn’t embarrass him too much. But dad was right. He should do better. He didn’t want to stay here in the living room with Geralt and Eskel anymore. 

“I’m going to sleep again,” he said and stood up, he was still tired.

“Yeah, but change your diaper first. It smells like you used it” Geralt said. Jaskier his cheeks flushed. It was so embarrassing! Why did Geralt have to point it out like that? And why didn’t he realize it himself? 

“There are diapers in the bathroom closet. You can always use them. Wipes and cream are there too. It is nothing to be ashamed off” Eskel told him with a smile. “A lot of people get physical problems from stress”. Jaskier looked at the floor. Stupid little side! 

“Yeah you right. I... uhm.. I will pay you back” He knew diapers were really expensive. That was another reason his dad didn’t like his little side. It cost too much money. Money they could use for other things.

“Oh you don’t have too. Just try to relax and then you probably won’t even need them anymore” Geralt said while turning the tv on. Why did he talk about this like it was normal? It wasn’t!

“Sweet dreams Jaskier. If you need help just yell” Eskel told him. Jaskier turned around and went to the bathroom. Like he would yell for help. He could change that stupid diaper himself. 

He took his clothes and diaper off. Geralt was right, he did use it. Why hadn’t he felt it? What was wrong with him? He took the wipes out the closet. It took some time to clean himself and put a new diaper on. Then he dressed and went to his room. 

He picked teddy up and looked at it. It had to be over. There was no room for being little in his life anymore. He threw the teddy bear in the bin. It broke his heart to see the bear laying there but it was necessary. 

He leaned over the bin and whispered “Bye bye teddy bear”. He wiped some tears away and went to bed.

He couldn’t really sleep that night, he missed his teddy so much. It felt so wrong that he was lying in the bin so close to Jaskier but that he couldn’t take him out. 

He tried to think about things he should do differently. He needed to take water and lunch to work. He needed to take bathroom breaks and the most important thing. He needed to act big around Eskel and Geralt. He turned to his side and hugged his knees. “I can do this,” he told himself. He really hoped it was true.


	5. Hugs and Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier feels terrible after regressing again. Eskel and Geralt worry.

**Chapter 5 Hugs and showers**

The next morning Jaskier made sure to take lunch and water to his job. He made a sandwich with cheese and took a bottle of water out of the fridge. He wrote Eskel and Geralt a note that he would pay them back later. He had to take better care of himself or he would get sick or drop again. He didn’t need a caregiver to remind him of that. He did put on another diaper just to be sure. He used the previous one that night. But he would stop that last habit tomorrow he promised himself.

When he reached his spot he started to play his songs. People enjoy it again and it made Jaskier so happy to see people would sing along or dance to his music. That was his dream to make people happy just with his guitar and songs. It was his talent and his passion. He completely went in the flow and forgot the time. 

It was around four when Geralt walked over to him. He listened to Jaskier for a while. Jaskier smiled at him and felt proud when he saw Geralt sing along with one of his songs. He stopped playing and Geralt walked over to him and gave him a coffee.

“You are really talented. I understand why you want to make music” Geralt said. He sat down on the sidewalk and Jaskier sat down next to him. Jaskier felt so warm inside. Geralt thought he was talented! Nobody had said something like that to him before. Was it true that he was talented? If he was honest he did think so himself. 

“I love singing and playing my guitar. I also play the lute. My guitar teacher was very old. He loved playing the lute. I want to save money to buy one, one day I will own one” he told Geralt. Lutes were expansive and Jaskier didn’t have any savings but he really wanted to play the lute again. His teacher used to play the lute while Jaskier played his guitar or vis-à-vis. They sang countless songs that way. Jaskier loved it. Sadly enough his teacher died three years ago. 

“A lute you don’t hear that every day. I think it suits you” Geralt gave him a big cookie with white chocolate and marshmallows on it. “Here I brought it at the bakery when I was walking home from work. I heard you playing”. Jaskier smiled again, it was so kind of Geralt to visit him. He wished his dad would enjoy his music as well. Maybe when he saw how many people Jaskier was entertaining on a day like this. 

“That's nice of you,” Jaskier said, taking the cookie and drinking his coffee. “I already made twenty dollars today. I hope I have fifty before the day is over” he said proudly. He was getting more money than he thought he would get. “I will pay you back for the water and sandwich tonight. Did you find the note” he checked to be sure.

“I did. Keep your money you earned it yourself. Did you call your dad already?” Geralt asked. Jaskier took a bite from his cookie. Time to lie again. He took a deep breath.

“Yes, he was shocked first, but then he was nice and supportive. He didn’t like it that I felt the need to lie. Next time we see each other he will take me to dinner and we will talk about it” he lied to Geralt. He hoped his father would have said something like that. If he really had called him his father would have yelled at him, insulted him and probably hung up after that. But it was nice to pretend to have a father that cared. 

“Wow that is good. I’m happy for you. Do you feel better by the way. Your umh.. belly I mean” Geralt asked. Jaskier was surprised by the question Eskel and Geralt were really interested in his well being. His dad never was. 

“It’s better, Eskel’s medicine helped a lot,” he told Geralt while nodding. Geralt patted his back. It was a nice feeling. It made him feel happy when Geralt or Eskel touched him. 

“Good, you can tell us anything. Especially if you're not feeling well. We don’t mind helping. So next time just come to us” Geralt told him. Jaskier nodded he knew that Geralt meant it. 

“I will, I guess I should start playing again” he still needed to earn thirty dollars. He moved to stand up but Geralt moved a little bit closer to him.

“You should go change first. I will watch you guitar and money” he whispered in his ear. To change? Then he smelled it too. Oh not again! He felt himself turning bright red. This was embarrassing! He didn’t even know where to change if he even had a clean diaper with him. When did this happen? Oh god! He needed to play cool. He couldn’t let Geralt know.

“Uhm, uhm” what should he say? His mind was blank. Not one helpful thought. 

“Do you have clean stuff with you?” Geralt asked like it was a normal question. It wasn’t of course. It shouldn’t be a question an adult had to ask another natural adult. Why didn’t he take anything with him? 

“I didn’t think I would need it” he said desperately trying to think of a solution. What could he do? Keep the diaper on? No that was a bad idea, it smelled already. 

“Okay, it’s okay. Don’t panic. We have two options” Geralt started sounding very calm. It calmed Jaskier a little bit as well. “You or I can go buy something or we can go home” Geralt explained. But his job? his money? But even if he went to buy something, where would he change? No that wasn’t an option. He needed to go home. 

“Go home” he whispered, Geralt nodded. He closed Jaskier’s guitar case. Jaskier watched him getting all his stuff and picking everything up. He looked expectantly at Jaskier. Jaskier slowly stood up. Tears burning in his eyes. How did this happen? It had been a perfect day until his little side ruined it again! 

He walked after Geralt. Geralt slowed down so Jaskier could walk next to him. He put his arm around him. “It will be fine” he said, Jaskier didn’t react he only looked at the ground. It wouldn’t be fine, Jaskier thought angry. 

~

At home Geralt turned to shower on. “Go wash, don’t forget to put cream on your privates when you're done. You will probably have a rash since you were wearing a dirty diaper for long. Do you want me to stay with you” Geralt asked him while he held Jaskier’s shoulder. He made Jaskier look at him. He probably thought Jaskier was unable to even shower himself. Jaskier wanted to cry and fall in Geralt’s arms. Begging the man to take all his worries away. But he didn’t. 

Jaskier just looked at Geralt. And sighed heavily, Geralt meant it. If Jaskier needed him to stay he would. He wanted to say yes. Ask Geralt to help him, clean him. But he didn’t. He looked at the floor instead. “I will be fine” he whispered to Geralt. 

“Okay, yell if you need me” Geralt said while squeezing his shoulder and leaving the bathroom. He closed the door behind him. 

Jaskier was shivering from the stress when he undressed and stepped in the shower. Tears were on his cheeks. The warm water hurt his groin. There was a rash just like Geralt said there would be. Why was his life such a big mess? Why did he have to have this stupid little side? Why him?

He sat on the floor and let the water mix with his tears. He pushed his knees against his chest and felt so lonely, so stupid. Why did he have to be little? When did his life become one big lie? Why wasn’t his dad supportive? Why did this happen to him? He never hurt anybody. Why did he deserve this?

He didn’t know how long he sat there. The water was cold, but his tears just didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop them anymore, he wasn’t really trying to. Someone was knocking on the door. “Jaskier, are you okay?” It was Geralt. He must have been here a long time. Geralt wanted to help him but Jaskier didn’t want his help. 

“Fine” he yelled with a voice that didn’t sound fine. His body also didn’t feel fine. He was everything but fine. He wanted to be fine again. 

“Are you still in the shower? The water must be cold now?” Geralt didn’t sound angry or mad but calm and concerned. Why didn’t they understand that he didn’t need that. He didn’t need concern. He needed to be left alone. Couldn’t they not just leave him alone?!

“So what. Maybe I like that” he yelled fighting the tears at the same time. He should stop them. He put his head on his knees and suddenly started crying hard. Something broke inside him. He couldn’t do this. He was a failure. He needed help. “Please help” he just yelled. Hopefully Geralt really meant it when he said that Jaskier could yell if he needed help. 

The cold water disappeared and a big fluffy towel was put around his body. Strong arms picked him up and carried him to the couch. “It’s okay, calm down” Geralt kept saying. 

He was laying on Geralt his chest, his head in his neck, his hand holding his shirt. Geralt put a blanket over him and was holding him in place with one arm and patted his head with the other. He didn’t say anything, he just let Jaskier cry. And Jaskier cried like he never did before. 

~

Eskel opened the door of their apartment. He was tired after a long day at the ER. He hung up his coat and kicked his shoes off. The door of Jaskier’s room was open. His guitar was on his bed. He must have come home early. Maybe he was tired as well. Well the boy needed sleep Eskel thought walking to the living room. He wanted to hug his husband and hoped Geralt would cook his fantastic burgers tonight. 

Geralt was laying on the coach. Jaskier was laying on him under a blanket. Geralt was holding him and playing with his hair. What wasn’t something Eskel expected to see. 

“If I didn't know you so well and loved you so much. I would be thinking I walked in on you cheating on me with our new roommate” he joked. It was clear to him that that wasn’t the case. Geralt would never cheat and Jaskier was clearly unwell. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure Eskel. He is naked under this blanket” Geralt joked back but he had a serious undertone. Eskel was surprised to hear that he walked to them and kneeled so he could see Jaskier's face. He was asleep.

“What happened?” he asked, touching Jaskier his forehead and cheek to check for a fever. He didn’t find one. 

“I went to check on him after work. We dronk coffee together. I smelled that he used his diaper but he hadn’t realized it himself. I told him to change. He didn’t have any stuff with him. So we went home. He broke down in the shower. I found him under a cold stream, crying and I just picked him up to comfort him here. He fell asleep” Geralt explained while he played with Jaskier’s hair. Eskel swallowed. Poor boy. He didn’t really understand what could be so wrong that Jaskier was acting like this. 

“Maybe we should call Julian. He isn’t getting better. Maybe he isn’t ready for this life yet. Maybe it's better to send him home” Eskel said. If all those things never happened before Jaskier moved here. Then it would be the best way to help Jaskier. He had heard of people who got really sick from homesickness before. Jaskier's eyes flushed open. Eskel gave him a kind smile. “Hey there” he whispered.

“I’m sorry I failed,” Jaskier whispered. Did he hear right what Jaskier said? Eskel moved the blanket a bit to see more of his face. Why did Jaskier think he had failed?

“Failed at what?” He asked softly. Maybe Jaskier would open up. What was going on with him?

“Dad said you would kick me out if I didn’t behave better,” Jaskier explained. Kick him out? What? They never said that. They would also never do that. Why would Julian say that? It didn’t sound like the Julian he knew. Was Jaskier making this up?

“We won’t kick you out. But you feel sick since you arrived here, you didn’t feel like this at home. So maybe it’s better for your health to go back home, you probably will feel better” Geralt said not stopping with playing with Jaskier his hair. Jaskier froze but then relaxed again. 

“Okay,” Jaskier said, slowly leaning in Geralt's touch. 

“Okay? Okay you will go home?” Eskel checked. If Jaskier agreed so easily it was probably for the best. Maybe he just needed them to tell him. 

“I will go back. I will see if I can get a plane flight soon” Jaskier sat up and climbed off Geralt. Only realizing then that he was naked, if Eskel should believe his red cheeks. He put the blanket around himself and moved out the room. Eskel shook his head and looked at his husband.

“Poor kid, it's probably homesickness” Eskel said, Geralt nodded and sat up as well.

“It’s better for him. At least he tried” Geralt said. “He’s still young. Maybe in a few years he can try to spread his wings again”.


	6. Planes and backpacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier leaves Eskel and Geralt.

Chapter 6 Planes and backpacks

Jaskier packed his bag and left all the money with his music he earned on his bed to pay Eskel and Geralt back. They had been so nice to him they deserved it. At least they could buy new sheets now. He wouldn’t go back to his father and the village he would find another place in the city. He needed to do better. He still needed to prove to his dad that he could lose his little side. 

He walked to the kitchen where Geralt and Eskel were sitting. “I am leaving. I called my dad and he booked a flight tonight immediately. There is a taxi waiting downstairs. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I’m sorry I was such a bother”. He felt guilty for lying again but it was the last time. After this he wouldn’t see them again. It was hard to leave Eskel and Geralt they took care of him, he would really miss them. 

“You were no bother at all Jaskier. I’m just sad it didn’t work out for you like you wanted too” Eskel said and walked over to him and gave him a big hug. Jaskier swallowed it was probably the last time for a long period that someone would hug him like this. He let himself lean into the hug. It felt so safe and warm. 

“Thank you” he said and he let go of Eskel and Geralt hugged him as well. “Take care Jaskier”. Jaskier gave them both a quick smile and left the building with his backpack and guitar. He was ready to cry again. It hurt so much to leave them behind. 

Standing outside he didn’t know what to do. His dad had been right, they did kick him out for being unable to act normal. For his little side. He had ended up on the streets without a big career or money. Homeless, without a penny in his pocket. Why hadn’t he tried harder? He cried while he walked through the city. He needed to find a place to sleep. 

Eventually he found an empty alley where he sat down. He needed a plan. A good plan. Tomorrow he could work and earn money. He would be able to go to a motel and buy food. He would save as much as possible and rent a room somewhere. Everything would be fine if he did his best. 

~

Jaskier tried to sleep while leaning against the wall. He was cold. His thin jacket didn’t help much. He tried to relax and closed his eyes. He put his guitar on his lap to protect him from the cold. 

He was just falling asleep when suddenly someone was pulling at his guitar. He opened his eyes. A man with a knife already had his backpack in his hand and was trying to take his guitar as well. Jaskier tried to jump up. 

“Let go, help!,” Jaskier yelled as hard as he could. He couldn’t let him take his guitar. He couldn’t earn money without it. “Please keep the backpack but not the guitar” he begged desperately. He couldn’t lose his guitar, anything but that. Anything but his music. 

The men hit him hard in his face, the knife cut his arm and Jaskier fell back on the hard ground. The man robbed the guitar out of his hand and ran away. No this couldn’t happen!

Jaskier jumped up and tried to run after the man. He was able to follow him for a few blocks but then the men disappeared into the crowd. 

Jaskier leaned against the wall. His lip hurt, his back and his arm. His arm was even bleeding. It wasn’t too bad but it still hurt. His face hurt and he hoped his teeth were still intact. He lost everything now. His home and his family were already gone. He even lost his music now. The only thing that was always there when he felt bad. He never felt more alone. He needed to find his guitar, he couldn’t live without it. He decided to walk around and hopefully find the men that stole his guitar. He needed it back. 

~

Eskel and Geralt were eating breakfast together. Eskel made eggs and Geralt was reading interesting news out loud from the newspaper. He was currently telling Eskel about a new museum that opened. Eskel loved those mornings. Nothing complicated just the two of them with some food, having some small talk. 

“Should we call Julian? Ask if everything went well with Jaskier?” Eskel said while making another sandwich. He was still worrying about Jaskier even though the boy was probably safely at home already. He really hoped he felt better. 

“It can’t hurt. Julian is probably really worried about what happened. Maybe we could explain a few things” Geralt said, handing Eskel his phone. Eskel suddenly regretted not calling him sooner. His friend must have been so worried. He picked up the phone and chose Julian’s number. 

Julian picked up after a few seconds Eskel put the phone on speaker again.

“Hey Eskel, it’s about Jaskier again isn’t it” Julian said and he didn’t sound happy. Maybe he blamed them. Maybe he thought they could have done more to help Jaskier. 

“Yeah well, he was making himself so sick from homesickness. Poor kid” Eskel said. He decided to try and explain everything first. 

“He probably needs more time. I will call him and tell him that. He can act so ridiculous. I’m sorry that you have to put up with this Eskel. I really thought he would behave better”. Eskel looked from the phone to Geralt who raised his eyebrows and looked confused as well. Julian apparently didn’t understand why they were calling or something.

“But how is he now. Does he feel better?” Eskel tried. Eskel hoped that Jaskier was sound asleep in his own bed right now with a smile on his face. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t speak to him since he left, I only texted him after your last call. Not that he reacted to that” Julian sounded angry. Eskel’s mouth dropped open. He looked at Geralt, did he understand it right? Was Jaskier not at home with Julian? 

“So he isn’t home with you. But he left yesterday to go home. He said you brought his plane ticket” Eskel said confused what was going on here? Where was Jaskier?

‘I did no such thing. I wouldn’t. So he left! Little ungrateful… Don’t worry about it Eskel. You did what you could Jaskier is just a very complex kid” Julian sounded furious but not concerned. “I’m sorry I put you up with him”.

“So he didn't go home? He is missing? Should we call the police, to look for him?” Eskel suggested he didn’t like it that Jaskier was out there alone. The city was big and it was winter. Where did he even sleep? 

“No let it be a lesson for him, he needs to grow up. I’m not going to lose a minute sleep over this Eskel, neither should you” Julian told him. Eskel didn’t know how to react. Did Julian really say that they shouldn’t worry well Jaskier was missing? Geralt grabbed the phone he apparently couldn’t take it anymore, how Julian talked about Jaskier.

“Julian, is Jaskier a little yes or no?” Geralt demanded an answer from Julian. Eskel recognized this side of Geralt. This wasn’t Geralt the loving husband, this was Geralt the detective who was onto something. It was his scary side. Eskel didn’t see it much. Luckily. 

“No, did he say that. It is ridiculous no son of mine is little. We laugh about littles in our village. Jaskier thinks he is one. I sent him away so he had to grow up. He is a natural now” Julian explained to them. Eskel was still progressing everything they learned from Julian, but Geralt was quickly to respond. 

“So he was classificated as a little,” Geralt checked. Julian was silent for a while. Eskel held his breath, afraid of the answer. 

“Yes, but who believes that?” Julian laughed. “Littles they don’t even really exist, right?” Geralt didn’t let him finish.

“And you told him to act like a natural. You send him here to have some kind of a big career? Did you tell him it was wrong to be little?” Geralt questioned. Eskel saw how angry he was. Eskel wasn’t angry yet. He was still in shock. 

“Yes, I knew you would understand. Apparently you were still too nice for him. Maybe some time on the streets is just what he needs” Julian said, even sounding a bit happy. Geralt shook his head.

“You disgust me” Geralt hung up the phone and looked at his husband. Eskel had tears in his eyes. Geralt stood up and hugged him. “It’s okay,” he told him. 

“We did everything wrong Geralt, he is just a little. Poor baby” Eskel cried hugging Geralt back. Why didn’t they not see this sooner? Geralt shook his head against his shoulder. 

“We didn’t do anything wrong. Julian did. We need to find Jaskier. We will make things right. We will look after him” he gave Eskel a quick kiss they just hugged each other for awhile.

~

Geralt let go of his husband and he went to Jaskier's bedroom looking for clues where the boy could be. He saw the money on the bed. With a little note ‘sorry I was such a bother’. It hurt so much. They poor boy really thought he had been a bother. It was probably so hard for him to act like he wasn’t little. 

He swallowed and picked the note up he crushed it in his hand and went to throw it in the bin. He saw the teddy bear in the bin. Geralt slowly picked it up. A little how was so disgusted with himself he threw his teddy away, that broke Geralt’s heart. He hugged the bear and shook his head. 

He walked back to Eskel who was trying to call Jaskier, but Jaskier of course didn’t pick up. “I found his teddy in the bin. He must be so scared, Eskel. Poor baby. I will find him” he said with a heavy sigh, putting the teddy bear on the table. Eskel stared at the bear, with tears in his eyes. 

As a private detective he found criminals and runaway teenagers all the time, a confused little in his own city shouldn’t be a problem. He just hoped Jaskier could keep himself together and that nobody had hurt him. Littles were so vulnerable. If something happened to Jaskier, he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself. 

“Where do we start?” Eskel asked standing up from the table. Eskel was trying to hold himself together, Geralt knew he was blaming himself for everything. Eskel was even blaming himself for being Julian’s friend. His husband only tried to help everyone. He shouldn’t feel like this, 

“We start by calling all the police stations and hospitals” he started to explain. ``We asked if he is, or was there and tell them to look out for him,” Eskel nodded, writing it all down. “After that I am going to look in the city,” Geralt said. “I will ask Ciri and Dara to trace his phone and check cameras and incident reports”. He needed to keep his head straight and take the same steps he would take with every other case. 

“I will call the police and hospitals, you go look for him,” Eskel said, picking up his phone. “Maybe he is playing his guitar on his spot, trying to make some money. Start there” Eskel suggested. Geralt nodded and put his coat on. He would find Jaskier. 

“Keep me updated” he yelled to Eskel before closing the door behind him. 

~

A few hours later he wasn’t much further. He didn’t find Jaskier at the usual spots. Eskel hadn't any luck either. Geralt was getting really worried. What if someone took Jaskier? His phone went. It was Ciri. He hoped she had some good news.

“Any news?” He asked and he held his fingers crossed. Please have news he begged in silence. 

“Yes, Dara and I tracked his phone in a building on Harper Street. Number 6. It’s some kind of drugs building. Do you need back-up?” She asked, getting straight to the point like always. Geralt felt relieved, there was finally some news! Good news! 

“No” he closed his phone. He wouldn’t need back up. He could handle this himself. He yelled for a taxi and jumped in. Jaskier, keep yourself together a few more hours, I’m coming to get you, he thought.


	7. Daddy’s and littles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier finds a home.

Chapter 7 Daddy’s and little’s

Geralt arrived at the building and it looked bad. Old with some broken windows but he was probably close to Jaskier and that was the only thing that matters. 

He opened the door of the building and walked in. The building was almost empty, there were a few men sleeping at the ground, probably homeless. Just like Jaskier he swallowed. None of the men were Jaskier he saw. Had Ciri been wrong? 

Suddenly he saw a guitar case it was open. He knew that guitar! It was Jaskier’s guitar. Had he been here? The guitar was broken. How did that happen? Jaskier was so careful with his instrument. Jaskier's backpack was lying next to the guitar case, his clothes lay everywhere. A strange man was even wearing his jacket. Geralt realized that man must have stolen Jaskier’s stuff. It made him furious. Geralt walked over and lifted the man against the wall.

“Where did you get this?” he hissed. The man looked scared. Good, he should be. You don’t steal from Geralt’s little and get away with it. 

“Relax from a homeless kid in the north” the man told him. Geralt shook him again and pushed him harder against the wall. Then he saw a knife on the floor. There was blood on it. He froze for a second before looking at the man again. 

“You hurt him?” He asked furious. If Jaskier was hurt or worse...

“Well not too bad, a small cut on his arm” the man said like it was nothing to cut Jaskier with a knife. Geralt pushed the man harder. How dared he? Nobody hurts a little in Geralt's care. Not when he could help it. He kicked the man in his balls and hit him hard in his face. “Don’t ever touch my little again” he yelled.

The man was lying on the floor hissing in pain. Geralt quickly picked up all Jaskier’s stuff before leaving the building. 

~

Jaskier was tired and hungry. He walked all night to find the man with his guitar. He guessed his guitar was a lost case. It hurt. And to make everything worse, he was lost. He didn’t know where he was in the city. He was glad he put a diaper on even though he could smell that he used it. He didn’t know what to do. Where to change? Where to sleep? How to get money to eat? Was he going to starve?

Without his guitar he couldn’t make music. He could sing but he didn’t know how to get to his spot and how was he going to get there on foot? 

He wanted to cry and hug Geralt and Eskel, asking them for help. He saw a bench and sat down on it. He didn’t even have his phone. the man stole it. If he just could remember where he was. Should he ask someone? He didn’t want to, feeling ashamed already. 

He remembered Geralt and Eskel their adres. If he could find their home he could find the music spot. Why didn’t he know the address from his music spot? It was on the note in his guitar case. His memory wasn’t that good, so he wrote everything down. 

He saw a taxi, he could take it. Let it bring him to Eskel and Geralt. But he didn’t have any money. Maybe he could run away after the ride or… 

No running away after was the only option. A horrible potion but the only one. It would make him a criminal. Well he was desperate enough for it. He guessed he understood now how people became criminals, would they be forced by circumstances like he was now? Feeling they had no other choice? 

So he stopped the taxi and told the driver the address of Eskel and Geralt their home. He felt already guilty. The driver was very nice and tried to talk to him. Jaskier ignored him mostly, feeling even more guilty. 

~

When the driver finally stopped in front of Geralt and Eskel their building he felt relieved. He wanted to rum inside and hug Eskel and Geralt but he couldn’t go there anymore. He wasn’t their little. 

“Twenty Five dollars please” the driver told him. Jaskier looked at him. He couldn’t. He couldn’t run. He couldn’t hurt this man, like he was hurt last night when his guitar got stolen. He started to panic. What should he do? Tell the driver everything? Beg for forgiveness? 

“Relax kid, let's get you your caregivers, they will help you” the driver said and he stepped out of the car. Jaskier couldn't move. He should, he needed to run. To get away before Geralt and Eskel came down. He should have stopped the driver but he didn’t. He watched him ringing the bell of Geralt and Eskel their apartment. He heard him talk to one of them through the intercom. The driver smiled at him. Jaskier put his hand in his mouth and sucked his fingers. His heart pounded in his chest.

He was crying when he saw Eskel appear. Eskel smiled at him and ran to the car. Safe was the only thing Jaskier could think. I’m safe. 

Eskel opened his car door and took his head in his hands. “Oh sweet baby relax. Your home. Everything will be fine now” he told Jaskier. Jaskier felt himself relax. Eskel was right, he was okay again. 

Eskel took Jaskier his seatbelt off and picked him up, he put him on his hip. Jaskier hides his face in Eskel’s neck. Eskel said something to the drive and hopefully paid him. But Jaskier didn’t have to worry about those things anymore. He was safe in Eskel’s arms. 

Eskel hugged him and kissed his head until they reached the apartment. He was put on his bed, his sweet little teddy bear was pushed in his hand and Eskel quickly called Geralt. They talked to each other but Jaskier didn’t listen to them. 

“Oh baby, let’s take a look at you” Eskel said while he was sitting next to him on the bed. Taking Jaskier’s hand in his own. Jaskier felt so safe and relaxed. Eskel hadn’t been mad. He was nice, so nice! He wanted to never leave this house again. 

~

Eskel looked at the boy on the bed he looked so sad, so scared. Eskel was so relieved that Jaskier came back to them. He saw the big bruise on his face and the split lip. Someone hurt his baby. He took Jaskier’s coat off and saw a lot of blood on his arm. He quickly tore the fabric of his t-shirt away and looked at the wound. It was a knife wound. Someone cut his baby! How dare they? Who would do something like this? Jaskier had done nothing to deserve this, 

It wasn’t too deep, the blood had dried already. But Jaskier must have been terrified. He slowly patted his hair. “You're very brave” he told him and he saw that Jaskier had dropped deep. After everything that happened it was to be expected. He slowly undressed him until he was just in his diaper. He needed a bath Eskel decided. He was a bit dirty. 

Eskel picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. He took the diaper of. Then he filled the bath with warm water and lowered Jaskier in it. The boy relaxed. Eskel took his time washing the Jaskier’s body looking for bruises or anything else that needed his attention. 

It wasn’t too bad just the cut on his arm, a bruise on his back, his face and a nesty diaper rash. Eskel could deal with that. Nothing that needed serious medical attention. 

The door of their apartment opened and Eskel heard Geralt rush in. “How is he?” Geralt asked and he dropped next to him on the ground looking at Jaskier. 

“He dropped deep. He is really little now. Someone took a knife to him and hurt his arm. He was also beaten” Eskel explained and he picked Jaskier’s armout of the water and showed it to Geralt. The wound didn’t look too bad anymore without the dried blood.

“I punched the man who did this hard for that,” Geralt said, giving Eskel a hug before moving to give Jaskier a kiss on his forehead. “Poor baby, you're safe now” he whispered. 

“I guess we have a little now,” Eskel said to his husband, he was washing Jaskier’s hair. It felt good to have Jaskier as their little, like he was always meant to be. He never wanted a little before until now. 

“I guess so,” Geralt said, nodding slowly. 

“Can you dry him while I get some things for the knife wound and his rash?” Eskel asked Geralt. He wanted to see his baby warm and dressed in their arms as soon as possible. 

Geralt nodded, picking the baby out of the bad and dried him with their softest towel. Then Geralt carried him to his bedroom and put the teddy bear in his arms again. Eskel watched them and smiled. Geralt was good at this. 

“Let me first do the rash. Eskel put a tick layer of salve on Jaskier's groin before putting a special extra soft diaper on him. “So as soon as he uses his diaper, we need to change him. And we have to apply this salve every time” he explained, there was no need for Jaskier to feel uncomfortable. Geralt nodded.

Eskel dressed the knife wound and put salve on all the bruises he could find. After that they dressed Jaskier in soft pajamas. Geralt went to make a bottle of milk. When he can back they fed Jaskier and tuck him in. They watched him until he slept peacefully. They never felt more happy, their baby was home and safe. 

~

Jaskier woke up. He was warm and felt happy. “Hello there,” he opened his eyes and saw Eskel who was sitting next to him. “Did you sleep well?” Eskel asked. Jaskier nodded. Suddenly he remembered everything. That he left the house, the man who stole his guitar, the taxi driver and Eskel’s arm around him. Eskel must know now he was a little. They knew he lied to them. 

“I’m sorry” he whispered, he hoped they could forgive him. Eskel picked him up and put him on his lap. He pushed Jaskier’s head against his shoulder. Jaskier loved sitting like this. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Your dad should be sorry. We know he forced you to act like a natural and told you that being little is wrong. It isn’t Jaskier. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Geralt and I will take care of you now” Eskel told Jaskier. 

Jaskier shook his head. No, being little was bad, his dad told him himself. “It isn’t okay, little’s aren’t any good. There a childish and stupid. I’m a failure. My dad tried his best. I can’t even have a music career now”. He needed Eskel to understand that. He was wrong, not his dad. He should have tried harder. 

“Oh kiddo, no! You are so perfect, you don’t have to change. You can be little and have a music career. That isn’t a problem at all. You just have to accept yourself. Let yourself be little now and then. You will feel better” Eskel said while rocking Jaskier back and forward on his lap. 

“But I can’t take care of myself. In the village there aren’t any caregivers. I have no choice but to learn how to be a natural’ he was crying now. Geralt walked in and kneeled in front of him.

“Jaskier, Eskel and I are both caregivers. If you want us too, we would like to take care of you. You can be our baby. We will support your music career but also be your daddy’s” Geralt said, taking one of Jaskier's hands in his. Could that be true? They weren’t disgusted by him? They wanted to take care of him? That sounded too good to be true; 

“Really? You don’t hate me, I lied so many times to you” he went to hug Geralt. He needed to feel that Geralt meant it. 

“You didn’t know any better. That’s all forgiven. We would love to have you” Geralt kissed his hair and Eskel patted his back. Jaskier never felt so safe and loved before. For the first time in his life he loved being a little. 

~

The rest of the day Jaskier lay in Eskel and Geralt's bed. He slept, played little games with Eskel and they fed him this amazing milk with honey. It was a perfect day. Probably the best day in his life! Geralt was doing something in his room. Making it more appropriate for a little he said. He was building something. Jaskier was curious to see what he was doing. But he wasn’t allowed to look yet. Later, Geralt had told him. 

Just after Eskel changed his diaper, what was really soft, and fed him dinner he was allowed to look. Eskel and Geralt both held his hand while he walked to his room. He took a deep breath and Geralt opened the door. His old bed was gone. There was a big crib with blue sheets and his was teddy bear sitting on the pillow. There also was a changing table and a rocking chair with a big green pillow on it. It was a nursery. 

There were toys and the wall was a painting of a big guitar with music notes around it. The most beautiful room Jaskier ever saw and it was his. He had his own nursery. It was amazing! And in the corner of his room stood two instruments, a lute and a guitar. Jaskier cried out in happiness. Geralt remembered he played the lute as well. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. 

He had his own crib, instruments and toys. He flew in Geralt's arms to thank him. This was the nicest thing someone had ever done for him. Geralt hugged him and picked him up.

“Do you want to sleep in your new bed now?” Geralt asked him. Jaskier yawned and nodded. Of course he wanted to sleep in his new bed! He would love nothing more! 

Geralt put him in his bed and tucked him in. His teddy bear was in his hand and he smiled at Geralt. Geralt gave him a pacifier and Jaskier sucked happily on it, he never had a pacifier before but it was nice. 

“I love you,” Geralt said, kissing his head. Eskel kissed his head too. “Love you” he said as well. “Love you daddy’s” Jaskier told them, before closing his eyes and falling asleep happy, loved and warm. He found a family. 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Kodus make me very happy. So I you enjoy this story and want more stories like this leave one ❤️😊😍
> 
> If you want to chat, beta-read a story, have a plot suggestion for me or something completely different I’m Kapoentjes on Tumblr. I love writing so if you like something specific let me know 😊  
> Link Tumblr: https://kapoentjes.tumblr.com/


End file.
